Saturday, January 24, 2009

My 75 year plan

So, I am wondering what my "legacy" will be. What I will be remembered for. You know what I mean, like in 15 to 20 years when I pop up in peoples mind what the first memory of me is. I bet that they will be like "oh he was really funny" or "man was he handsome" or "gosh darn he was nice" sure, sure these things are nice and all but I want something that really stands out. Something no one will forget. So here are a few scenarios that I would like to see play out:

1. I would like to experience a life altering event that causes me to withdraw from society and build a masterpiece. Like some sort of structure that is really tall and leans to one side but doesn't fall down(no relation to the leaning tower of Pisa, cause that tower sucks). Or a labyrinth that never ends. But then it does end, and at the end is not David Bowie, but a sign that says exit.

2.Develop a cure for quicksand.

3. Be involved in a police chase. You know one along the lines of the one in Blues Brothers or Raising Arizona. There are three main parts that this chase must include. First, the beginning, duh. But I would prefer that is starts when I run from a building just as the cops show up. Prompting me to state the obvious and yell "COPS!" Second, the actual chase. This part has to include a lot of running and knocking over stuff. Also a very key part in this section that I think a lot of people overlook is the chance for humor to be injected into the situation. For example, as you are running you might run by a mirror and stop to make sure you still look sharp. You and a buddy may be escaping together and you stop to talk to an attractive lady and he comes back and yanks you away. Or my personal favorite would be you are running as fast as you can and you take an elevator, or an escalator and there is the awkward couple of seconds where you just stand there, you just stand there. Third, the part where it appears that you are cornered. This usually results in one of two things. A, you are cornered. B, you escape by some sort of miracle and or ineptness of the police.

4. I could put win the lottery here but c'mon, lets be serious, that wouldn't make me stand out. 20 years from now someone would be "oh hey, I had a friend who won the lottery once, what was his name, it sounded kinda like marbles the frown or something like that, I don't know" Ya, not what I am going for. Instead I could become someone that could always pick the right numbers. People could hire me and I would whisper the numbers in their ear. I would be known as the Lottery Whisperer. Ya, that sounds good.

5. Be the first man to walk on the moon, right Zach? Eh? Eh? Eh! You know what I'm talking about.

Well, that's just a couple things that came to mind to help people always remember me. But hey, that's what living this life in the day of Thome is all about, that and picking up chicks. HONK HONK. jk, but seriously.

Friday, January 16, 2009


So sometimes i forget that people that don't know me too well don't get that i am always sarcastic and if they say something dumb I usually call them out on it. Well today at work I had this customer that kept complaining about this part and how GM should fix it and he kept saying over and over that I should call GM and let them know they have a problem with this part. Usually I control myself with customers but this guy just kept going on and on about so I finally said "let me get the general of the motors on the phone right now." I think he realized I was making fun of him cause he didn't bring it up again. But I can just picture this happening and me actually calling the general of the motors. He would be in an important meeting and his secretary would come in and say"Mr. Motors?" and hey would yell "WHAT!" "Sir, Tom is on line one for you" He would answer the phone and say "Tom you chode! I owe you a shot to the nuts!" We would chat for a bit about the war, our fishing trips and how how everyone is old and fat. Then we would hang up without discussing the original reason I called but I would tell the customer that they are "on it" and I will let you know.
On a side note, Mountain Dew changed the look of their cans. I am stunned. they no longer spell out mountain. Its just MTN DEW. It just shows how bad the economy really is. They can no longer afford the O,U,N,A, and I. Vanna White would be rolling over in her grave if she was dead. Welp, I am off to do..something.

Thursday, January 1, 2009


Well, Well, Well, So we meet again 2009. Silence Octopussy!
Anyways I have had some good experiences on new years eve the last few years, I would like to share some of them with you.
2003 - As a missionary you would think that new years eve would be boring. Well you are correct but I still enjoyed it. Our mission president gave us permission to stay up until midnight(thanks dad). But no t.v. and no party makes new years dull right. Well we played uno and phase ten and we snuck out and borrowed the neighbor kids razor scooters and rode the block to the 7-11 for Slurpee's. Ya, go ahead and say it. We were rebels with out a cause.Except our cause were Slurpee's.
2004 - drove to Ohio. Wait that one sucked. never mind.
2005 - The Vegas. This trip was highlighted by two things. First we stayed in complete strangers houses all week. The first guy we got there and he says "oh ya, I'm leaving at 6 in the morning. just lock the door when you leave" uh, okay. At 6 in the a.m. some guy keeps knocking on the door. Steve and I have the same thought. If we act like we are asleep maybe he will go away. Except Steve blew it by looking up and they guy was looking through the window and saw him. But we stuck with the whole "asleep"thing. Second, some Asian tourist gave us tickets to this 4d show.
2006 - Snowboarding in Breckenridge, CO. Best new years ever. The snow was sweet, the resort was awesome. We saw Shaun White tearin up the park, NBD. Two funny stories about this year. First while snowboarding, I lost control and ran into my buddy,Asian Ryan. My board went over his and between his legs and I knocked him down. So he is on his back and laying on my board, I can't move cause he is on my board. I'm tell him to move but he can't, he is yelling "get off me!" but I can't move either. Best part, this all happened right under the chair lift. Second, right at midnight in d-town Denver this guy comes up and starts rapping to us, here it is"Life ain't so hard living in a penitentiary, OOOOH FIREWORKS!" and the he walks off, distracted by the fireworks. A couple of minutes later we watch a guy get arrested and as he is being led off in handcuffs he looks at us and say" happy new years"nice guy really. Oh and driving in the middle of the night in a blizzard I almost hit a stroller in the middle of the freeway. Not sure if there was or was not a baby in there.
2007-(footage missing)
2008 - The Vegas II. Nothing too noteworthy, Shannee did have these furry boots that I tried to return to the wild and she got really mad at me for trying to leave her boots in the middle of the desert. And I might have caused a baby brain damage. We were playing bang your head into the pillow, I may or may not have moved the pillow and his head made contact with the floor. He still doesn't talk. Not my fault though
2009- SLC. Quinn and I went traveled to Salt Lake this year. It was a ton of fun. We scored free tickets to the Utah-Gonzaga game but didn't go. Then we mostly hung out in D-town and waited for midnight. Quinn decided he needed to kiss 5 girls by midnight so we didn't see a lot of him, just randomly in the crowd. Although I did see him almost make out with a big black guy. True story. I touched a guy with a big red feathery coat. Tried to eat Shannee's coat(i was hungry) and then after midnight I kept wishing people happy Easter. This one drunk guy was really confused. He was heard mumbling as he walked off, "what is that guy talking about, its not Easter, its new years" Then in the car this guy honks at us and we roll the window down, this was the conversation. him"happy new years!' me"happy Easter" him "no man, happy new year"me"happy Easter?" him "ya, happy mother effin Easter!' me "oh in that case, happy new years!