Monday, December 29, 2008

The Idaho two step

I almost died today. I walked out of the oil room at work which is located on the north side of the building with the door going outside. I guess I shut the door too hard cause all the built up ice came sliding off the roof. Several chunks of ice that were three feet long by two feet wide fell the 15 feet or so to the ground. If I had taken a step farther it would have ended up on my head. That was close. Anyways I won't go into what happened with the ninjas today, it just couldn't top this.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Life lessons learned from the Simpsons.

Beer-the cause and solution to all of life's problems
The importance of obeying the laws of thermal dynamics
No t.v. and no beer can and will make you crazy, in my case, no mt. dew
When posed with the question of who do you hate more, France or Italy, no one ever picks Italy.
Even though we can see that every other guy is a sucker for a pretty girl, we still do the exact same thing. D'oh!
There is something that just isn't wholesome about flying a kite after dark.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008


Here's the deal, If you are a sports team and you have an undefeated season going for you, you don't want me as a fan. Twice this year while I was fishing, I mean twice this year teams that I am fans of lost their last game after winning all their previous games. The Patriots went 18-0 and then lost in the game that we do not speak of. Tonight Boise st. lost to TCU. I guess that means that I am going to have to forsake my affiliations with these teams so they have a chance in future seasons. I am now an official Dallas Cowboys fan. They all ready choke no matter what the situation is so I don't think my becoming a fan will hurt them at all. Unless its like math and two negative make a positive and then they become a clutch team. Lets hope that doesn't happen cause I really hate the Cowboys.

Monday, December 22, 2008


So we have a good ol fashioned snownami on our hands tonight. The tale that I am about to relate tonight might not be suitable for all ages. And now I present to you "Last minute Christmas shopping and the SNOWNAMI!"
Well it all started on December 22nd, the perfect day to start and end all of your Christmas shopping. Well the weather ad been bad all day and was only getting worse. So when I get off work I made a decision to still go ahead and go to Idaho Falls. The drive down was pretty bad but nothing I couldn't handle so I figured that I had made the right choice. So get to z mall and start walking in. Now I hate shopping. I really hate shopping. I don't know why either. But I get what you could almost describe as an anxiety attack. Now I don't freak out and start crying in the fetal position in the canned good aisle but its close. In the parking lot I'm cool, but as soon as I step foot in a store I immediately want to get out of there. When I know what I need its not so bad but on nights like tonight where I had to actually shop, its bad. So as soon as I walk in my immediate goal is to get stuff and leave. I try and not make eye contact with anyone cause I feel like I will have to explain why I am there and I don't know. Also if an employee comes up to see if I need help my first instinct is to kick them in the teeth but usually I hold back and just say no thanks. I head to Sears to get something manly for my pops, I still am nervous about being there but as soon as I get into the tool section I'm fine. No prob at all. So I wander around the tools for a while and find something for my Dad but then I have to leave the tool section to get to the checkout. Its twenty feet away, I come up with an escape plan in my head if I encounter a problem. I mill around for another minute and then make a break for it. I pay and then go to leave the store. Is it just me or is it a freaking maze to get out of these places. One time we got lost in a mall in Vegas and we asked someone how to get out and she responded "just go out and turn left" oh thanks lady, why didn't I think of that. So I go straight out and turn left and I'm out of sears. Now I gots to get something for Mom. I asked her what she wanted and she said "just get me a book" Oh thanks Mom, pick one of the few things I know nothing about. So now I am in Barnes & Noble, and I am completely lost. I wander around for a few minutes and by now I am sweating. I swear its a 100 degrees in there. I can tell that everyone that looks at me in this store knows that I am a fraud and am just pretending like I read "books". Every once and awhile I wander back over to the sports section to calm my self down and get collected. Finally I decide on a book and go to pay for it. The whole time I am waiting in line I am just praying the clerk doesn't ask me any questions. If she does, I'll just kick her in the teeth and make a break for it. I get up there and she asks "is this all?" I raise my foot to kick her in the teeth but then I realize "hey, I can answer this" so I say "maybe" damn, I really screwed that up all I had to say in "no" but no I have to go and leave it open for discussion. luckily she just smiles and puts it in a bag and I sprint for the door. At the door I stop, fix my tie(that I'm not wearing) and then strut into the parking lot. Oh and I also bought one of those digital picture frames and am going to fill it up with pictures of me for my parents, kinda like a shrine to myself, don't worry, most of you will be on their so consider yourself lucky to be in my shrine at Widdison Manor.
Now with that out of the way I start my drive home. Hit road is terrible, its almost drifted over. I get on the highway and my top speed is about 45 mph. At some points it is so bad that I can see maybe 10 to 15 feet in front of my truck. Close to Rexburg I am following a cop and and we both try to get off at the south Rexburg exit but it is so bad we both miss it cause we can't even see it, even though we are doing 20 mph, he then runs off the road at the top of the overpass and I almost followed him off, but he is able to back out and then we make it off the next exit. I've driven in a lot of bad weather but this was by far the worst I have ever driven in. SNOWNAMI 08 is even so bad that Ford and I can't even open our fridge!
Well anyways the moral of this story is how good of son I am I braved SNOWNAMI and Christmas shoppers to get gifts for my parents. I could have died several times tonight but alas I did not. But I could have. And that's why I am the favorite son.
The End.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

I'd rob a kwik-e-mart for you.

So I've spent alot of time by myself today which so I've had a lot of thoughts running through my head and with no one around to randomly share them with I will do so in blog form.

I'm not cutting my hair until the snow is gone. A couple buddies and I did this once and I had to cut mine early cause I was doing my mission papers and had look all presentable like so I feel like I cheated my self out of something special. My hair is already kinda long so I'm sure by mid march or so I'm going be really shaggy. Unkempt, if you will. Ya see here is the thing, I have really curly hair and when it gets long it is completely out of control. Like Lyndsie Lohan on a crack binge out of control. I know topside! But I'm going to give it a shot. Shoot, maybe at the end of winter I'll cut it into a mullet for a while.

I just found out that I don't know how to work our heater. Eff you heater.

I think I need a new job. It just isn't working anymore. Here is my dilemma, technically I like my job. I like what I do, I am basically in control of what I do all day. Even though most of the people I work with are ignorant a-holes I actually do like them. I make good money for being in eastern Idaho and being only 25 and not a college graduate(but I am done with school). So my question is why do I not enjoy being at work anymore. Honestly I ask myself this everyday and I don't have a good answer. All I know is that I'm not happy with myself while I am there. The only thing I can think of is that I can't really be myself at work. I like to think that I am a pretty laid back and chill person that above everything else I just like to joke around and have fun. Work can be a pretty stressful environment and I end up being uptight and kind of a dick and I don't like being that way. Also I think I'm burned out, I spent a year working out of mobile trailers and storage units cause our dealership burned down and it just wore me out mentally. I don't think I've recovered from that. Welp, I'm done ranting about that
I think I figured out the heater cause it is somewhat warm in here. So sorry for the outburst early.
Even though there is no one to hear all my witty comments they are still freaking funny. But I don't get as much enjoyment out of them. Don't get me wrong, I still laugh cause come on, it was funny. But it would just be better if other people heard them too, really I think the world is being deprived of laughter and somewhere babies are dying because of it.

I've been listening to a lot of Limbeck lately. Seriously could these guys be any cooler. The last two times I have seen them I think I enjoyed listening to them talk in between songs just as much as the songs them selves. Their music is awesome also. I've listened to Limbeck for a couple years now, when I first heard of them I listened to the one cd of theirs I had constantly. I'm doing the same now. For some reason its just what I need to listen to. But back to them being cool, just watch this and you will know that they are awesome. I know with every fiber of my being, jk but seriously. Bored in a hotel in Cleveland at 2 in the morning? Snoworries.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Mom's know best....

Growing up my mom always told me I was special. Here is a good example of why. I just returned from a simple drive around the formally populated town of Rexburg. I went to the bank, stopped by the icy church parking lot(for strictly secular reasons) drove over and through a couple piles of snow and then was headed to the Tom Cruise. Well as I was driving I could feel that somehow I had gotten my shoelace inside my shoe and it was starting to annoy me. So I reached down and tried to pull it out. Turns out the whole loop was in my shoe and by pulling on it it had grabbed a hold of my little toe and had tried to bend it backwards. This was a little bit uncomfortable as you can imagine so I pulled off my shoe to relieve this pain. So here comes the special part. I try and put my shoe back on but it requires my right hands assistance. Without thinking I put my arm through the steering wheel to do this while I steer with my left hand. And since I have been putting on my own shoes for close to 23 years now I accomplished this feat rather easy. But then I try to bring my arm back through the steering wheel but it doesn't come back out quite as easily as it went through. Somehow I can't quite figure out how I need to bend my elbow as to allow my arm to come out, keep in mind I am still driving at this point. To make a long story short it took me about a block to finally get my arm out of the steering wheel. I'm glad this happened, in fact the only thing that I wish was different was that this happened in rush hour traffic. I can just imagine this happening and me struggling to get my arm out when I look over at the car next to me and the passengers are just staring at me, mouths open, head slightly cocked to the left. That's when you smile, nod your head with a little wave and if you happen to be at a complete stop roll down your window and say "pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?" And this was another life in the day of Thome!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Duck Tales

So my good friend Shannee reminded me of a funny experience I had a couple years ago. It was a summer day in 2006. Hawaiian Steve, Harry Steve, Jumangi and I are were out driving around looking for apartments since we had to be out of ours the next day. So of course this was the first time we spent looking for one. We had embarked a couple hours earlier on our quest for living arrangements but had wasted time as usual. We made the usual stops at Horkleys, a eating establishment and were on our way to our FHE sisters apartment to waste some more time. So as we are driving down first west towards the stadium we see this duck run across the road. We all look at each other for a split second and then realize what it is we have to do. Capture this duck and make it our pet. We quickly pull over and by this time the duck is in the parking lot of the stadium. The Steve's and Jumangi quickly surround it but the duck lunges at Hawaiian Steve and he leaps out of the way to protect himself. Before I know it its just me and this crazed duck. I step in front of him but he hits the X button on his X-Box controller and spins away from me. Now he is running under all the parked cars on the side of the street. I run ahead hoping to cut him off. I turn thinking I am far enough ahead of him but we bump into each other. He heads for the street. During this whole chase the only thought in my head is "I'm going to have a pet duck! I am going to have a pet duck!" I can tell by the look in his eyes that all he is thinking is "I'm going to be a pet duck! I am going to be a pet duck!" He runs into traffic, I know what will happen. I yell for him to stop but he doesn't understand me since I don't speak French. The car's front tire misses him but the rear tire hits its mark. The sound of this can only be described as a pillow full of feathers and pretzels getting smashed. We all freeze and look at each other. A possible three seconds pass before we all bust into uncontrolled laughter. That just happened.
A week passed and we skated past the scene. All that was left were feathers ground into the pavement. We couldn't help but feel somewhat responsible, but hey if he would have come peacefully it could have been avoided. And that was a day in the life of Thome, circa 2006

Monday, December 1, 2008

Wayne's Wild World of College Football

The Oklahoma-Texas debate has been keeping me up lately. Don't get me wrong, if asked who I thought was the best team in the country I would say Oklahoma hands down or up. When you can hang 60 points on pretty much all of the big 12 this year you've made a great case to be called that. But Texas makes a great point also. They did beat Oklahoma at a neutral site. The score of that game doesn't matter, only that Texas did in fact win that game. So what they are saying is "how can Oklahoma be playing for the national championship and not us when we beat them?" Good question. BUT then you have Texas Tech saying if you use that logic then we should be playing for the NC cause we beat Texas. Its madness I tell you , madness. Here is what I think should be done....A Kansas City Playoff!
Kansas City Playoffs? Kansas City Playoffs? Yes I am talking about a Kansas City playoff Jim Mora. Here's the deal, First, bring the three teams in to a neutral site, then it works like overtime in college. Each team gets the ball at the 25 yard line and given a chance to score. The game goes until one team can't match the others score. Since there is three teams it would only be fair if it was double elimination. The winner then is your big 12 south champion and goes to the big 12 championship and possibly the NC. This is fair to all involved since all three have high scoring offense that have no trouble scoring and match up quite well. Of course this won't happen but it should. This isn't even a flaw with the BCS, its a flaw with the Big 12 that should have some sort of rule in place in case of a three way tie like we have instead of relying on the BCS standings to break it. So for once we can't blame the BCS.
BUT we can blame the BCS for what is most likely going to happen to Boise st. And blame we will. Boise st. is going to be punished for something that is out of their hands really. They can't control what teams are in their conference or how well the teams that they play out of their conference play year to year(keep in mind a year ago a win over Dennis Dixon and his Oregon team would look really good on their resume) they can only play the teams on their schedule. So they have done that and looked really good doing it but because they are in the WAC they most likely will be left out of the BCS bowls this year while 2 loss Ohio state will most likely get a bowl bid. Which is a shame cause I think this team is more balanced than the one two years ago that beat Oklahoma. And we all know how well Ohio st. does in BCS bowls. But maybe we could make a new bowl game that that fits teams perfectly that are in this position. We'll call it the we got screwed bowl presented by Ace hardware. That should provide some sort of comfort.