Friday, August 21, 2009

I'm so sick of the hobo's.....

My friends, I am lucky to be here today. Why am I lucky to be here today? Well I'm glad to say its because I got lucky last night.

I had a close encounter of THE HOBO KIND. Let me tell you of it. So there I was, all naked and half scared. Sitting on the couch at the vegbos house, just chillin. We were in the middle of a very gripping movie, Air Bud, number 8 i believe. As I was watching something on the floor caught my attention. I looked over to see what it was, but there wasn't anything there. As I started to look away I saw movement again. That's when I saw the hobo! He....was....HUGE! At my estimate he had to of been at least 239 lbs. He had been lying still so I wouldn't see him.

"HEY!" I said "what are you doing in here, we're watching air bud!"

"ahjfbdaj&68bfa9fy8fbaCHANGEjfkdasopfda" said Tim the hobo.

"huh?" I responded

"change, give me your change!" grumbled Tim

"Listen here Obama, you have some audacity to come in here and hope we will give you change!"

Well since he was a republican hobo this last comment really got his knapp sack in a twist. He pulled out a crudely fashioned knife made from another knife that he had found and crudely fashioned into his current knife. This caused Ford and Harper to jump on the back of the couch and scream uncontrollably(we all know how Ford feels about hobo's) Knowing this could get out of hand real quick I decided I had to leap into action. Everybody knows the only way to kill a hobo is by stepping on them real hard, usually while they are distracted or trying to escape. So as I leaped into action or the air in this case I grabbed 23 cents out of my pocket and threw on the ground. Tim took the bait and while he was counting the change I landed right on his back, smashing him. A hobo knife fight had been adverted with some quick thinking and some good hang time. We quickly dumped the body in the bushes and then got back to watching the end of Air Bud. Just another life in the day of Thome.

Saturday, August 8, 2009


This morning I woke up thinking about fantasy football. Thats it.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

A 5 drawer roomate.

so I realized it is too damn hot in my apartment for a penguin. So while I sit here in my underwear I would like to go over somethings that have been on my mind.
1. The phrase "take it back" after someone says something mean to you. Does it really make a difference if they say take it back? Do you automatically feel like it never happened? Yes, yes you do. That's why I think that we should institute a "take it back" in everything. For example, a cop pulls you over and gives you a ticket, you say "take it back" to which he replies, oh sorry, i didn't mean it, i take it back. boom no ticket. A girl breaks up with you saying that you "have no direction" or that your "feet smell horrible" or that she wishes "you would get up off the couch and stop playing that damn video game and appreciate me for once" you say take it back and bam you get back to that crucial 3rd and long play on madden.
2. Why I am an idiot. This one could take all night folks but I will try and keep it short. I'm an idiot.
3. Why there is that picture of the half naked little black boy displayed proudly on a local main street business. I get the Kelsey Grammars just thinking about it. I'm pretty sure there are laws against that type of thing.
4. I heard of another bear attack and I just can't stress bear safety enough people. I mean come on I devoted a whole blog about it a month or so ago. Seriously, If you aren't careful you could be that czech in the mail.
5. Zach got a new desk today, this is huge. You should see this thing, I think its made out of solid mahogany. Back in the olden days a man was measured on the number of drawers in his desk and let me tell you what, it looks like Zach is doing mighty fine for himself. A 5 drawer desk is hard to come by in upper Thai-land.
6. The hobo spiders at work are too smart for the glue traps I have set out. But they are not to smart for the bottom of my shoe. That'll teach you to hide under the glue trap that I set out there with the sole purpose of you getting stuck to!(please shake fist while reading last sentence)