Thursday, August 6, 2009

A 5 drawer roomate.

so I realized it is too damn hot in my apartment for a penguin. So while I sit here in my underwear I would like to go over somethings that have been on my mind.
1. The phrase "take it back" after someone says something mean to you. Does it really make a difference if they say take it back? Do you automatically feel like it never happened? Yes, yes you do. That's why I think that we should institute a "take it back" in everything. For example, a cop pulls you over and gives you a ticket, you say "take it back" to which he replies, oh sorry, i didn't mean it, i take it back. boom no ticket. A girl breaks up with you saying that you "have no direction" or that your "feet smell horrible" or that she wishes "you would get up off the couch and stop playing that damn video game and appreciate me for once" you say take it back and bam you get back to that crucial 3rd and long play on madden.
2. Why I am an idiot. This one could take all night folks but I will try and keep it short. I'm an idiot.
3. Why there is that picture of the half naked little black boy displayed proudly on a local main street business. I get the Kelsey Grammars just thinking about it. I'm pretty sure there are laws against that type of thing.
4. I heard of another bear attack and I just can't stress bear safety enough people. I mean come on I devoted a whole blog about it a month or so ago. Seriously, If you aren't careful you could be that czech in the mail.
5. Zach got a new desk today, this is huge. You should see this thing, I think its made out of solid mahogany. Back in the olden days a man was measured on the number of drawers in his desk and let me tell you what, it looks like Zach is doing mighty fine for himself. A 5 drawer desk is hard to come by in upper Thai-land.
6. The hobo spiders at work are too smart for the glue traps I have set out. But they are not to smart for the bottom of my shoe. That'll teach you to hide under the glue trap that I set out there with the sole purpose of you getting stuck to!(please shake fist while reading last sentence)

5 comments:

Leah said...

I miss this aka you. That little boy photo did make me kind of uncomfortable and I'm a girl. Photos like this are suposed to make me want to say something like "awww so cutah." There's definitely something off about it. P.S. you're one of the smartest people I know. Wait I take that back...

Harpski said...

Thome:
1. Seriously, a stupid thing to say eh? I like the phrase "bless her heart." For example you could say:
"Gosh, she really is a slutty whore," and then you would sound like a jerk, but when you apply the phrase "bless her heart" to the end of it the whole thing changes:
"Gosh, she really is a slutty whore, bless her heart." Now this statement only makes you sound like a jerk for a second before it makes you sound like a saint for "blessing her soul." You get the point.
2. You're not an idiot. You're one of the most unidiotic people I know.
3. That creepy child on main street is freaking me out. His hair and jeans one hand in pocket and shirtless say, "Hey check me out I'm bad ass." But his age and teddy bear and face say, "look at me, I'm a toddler; pedophile."
4. Bears need to get a life.
5. Zach will always be cooler than the rest of us. That is the equivalent of Mohanna the 8 cow wife.
6. Damn spiders.

InYourBoat said...

I don't know why everyone makes such a fuss about the naked black boy. So I walk by it often to "admire the art". Whatever... I wish he were 18

monica said...

hahah.

can that be all i say?

Vickie said...

i wish that you could somehow change your words to be punny when you say "the SOLE purpose....blah blah blah" can you take that back?

other than that, hahahahahahahahhaha!