Friday, June 19, 2009

Bear Market

Well guys, I hate to do this but this is going to be another serious post. I know, I know that's not what you come here for but I just feel that this is an important topic. One that I need to bring up. Bear safety.
Bear safety? you ask. But why? Well because there is nothing worse than running into one of these godless killing machines in the backwoods. You might call this the summer season but I call it killing season. Every year these things maim and murder hundreds of innocent tax payers. Sure you can say that this doesn't effect you but let me relate this story and we'll see how you feel afterwards.
In the summer of 2003 two hikers from the Czech Republic were on vacation here in the states. They were backpacking in Yellowstone National Park having the time of their lives. Until disaster struck. They bumped into a bear and it took more than their pic-i-nic basket if you know what I mean. One hiker was able to escape but the other wasn't so lucky. The escapee made it to a rangers station and told them what had happened. The rangers were able to locate the bear and eliminated it. Afterward they recovered the remains of the other hiker from the bear. Distraught by all this the surviving hiker was lamenting about how to get his dear friend home for a proper burial. A ranger overhearing this whispered to the coroner "I feel so bad, what are we going to do?"." "Don't worry" said the coroner, "we have already taken care of it......the Czech is in the mail."

Monday, June 15, 2009

Illegal Blog Block in the Back, 15 yard penalty, First Down

I've had bloggers block for the last little while. What is that you ask? Well first of all I appreciate how you raised you hand and second its similar to writers block but totally different.
You see when you have bloggers block that's all you can think about. You try and do something to occupy your self to take you mind off of it. Doesn't work. Soon you are just wandering around. You go from one room to the other just hoping to find something. You know, something you might have dropped or that is stashed somewhere. You always have this empty feeling in your stomach and it tends to make a lot of loud whale like noises. Usually at very inopportune times, like church or a whale watching trip. You tend to be very cranky if you do not blog every couple of hours. People start to say "man what is wrong with Tom? Oh he hasn't blogged for a while, don't mind him" Wait, wait, never mind. This is how I feel when I am hungry. My bad
The truth is I am just lazy, and I have carpel tunnel. But I will try harder to blog more often. I just have a lot to live up to. I mean shoot, I gots readers across the pond. Its gone global, that's pressure.