Friday, June 19, 2009

Bear Market

Well guys, I hate to do this but this is going to be another serious post. I know, I know that's not what you come here for but I just feel that this is an important topic. One that I need to bring up. Bear safety.
Bear safety? you ask. But why? Well because there is nothing worse than running into one of these godless killing machines in the backwoods. You might call this the summer season but I call it killing season. Every year these things maim and murder hundreds of innocent tax payers. Sure you can say that this doesn't effect you but let me relate this story and we'll see how you feel afterwards.
In the summer of 2003 two hikers from the Czech Republic were on vacation here in the states. They were backpacking in Yellowstone National Park having the time of their lives. Until disaster struck. They bumped into a bear and it took more than their pic-i-nic basket if you know what I mean. One hiker was able to escape but the other wasn't so lucky. The escapee made it to a rangers station and told them what had happened. The rangers were able to locate the bear and eliminated it. Afterward they recovered the remains of the other hiker from the bear. Distraught by all this the surviving hiker was lamenting about how to get his dear friend home for a proper burial. A ranger overhearing this whispered to the coroner "I feel so bad, what are we going to do?"." "Don't worry" said the coroner, "we have already taken care of it......the Czech is in the mail."

6 comments:

ZacharyPaul said...

Dang! Gets me every time.

Myke said...

What are you talking about Zach, this is serious.

During my first week in Rexburg the main headline of the local newspaper read: "GRIZZLY BEAR KILLED." Bears are serious.

Quinn the Eskimo said...

I'm pretty sure that Leroy used to work at that ranger station. He had assured the hikers that all the bears would be "in the next forest tomorrow." That lying turd.

toridickson said...

i hear if you put garlic and a cross on your door the bears will stay away.

InYourBoat said...

Hey Booboo, let's go get a pic-i-nic basket

Leah said...

Not to sound creepy but I read this with your voice in my head. Then at the end I imagined you pulling at your shirt collar and saying "wow tough croud tonight."